A Heartfelt Rant From An Anonymous Mother (Phew!)

I think I regret having my children I have no escape I am a prisoner in my own home I have no way fing solitude I am trapped. I secretly wish that someone would deam me unfit as a parent and take them I hate myself for this. I would never hurt them but I can’t even talk on the phone or use the restroom in peace there is no privacy my husband thinks that there is no reason to be away from the children I feel like am losing myself to there incessant whining and crying God please just kill me I am miserable I tell my husband and he blows me off I am not allowed to put them in daycare I can’t even clean my house without them huddling around me to complain that the other one is doing something wrong or the oldest bringing me the baby to hold when i am trying to get her to understand that she does not have to be stuck up my arse all the time am I insane for wishing my kids would dissappear for a day? I don’t get any respect in my own home the children run the house. I am here to serve them and clean up their huge messes. God, Please make it stop I see no light at the end of the tunnel.

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20 Comments

  1. Sunday'sMourning
    Posted June 5, 2008 at 8:24 am | Permalink

    I have no sympathy for this woman. Children have always required a constant amount of attention; I wonder what she was expecting. I’m curious to know why she has more than one. Was the first kid a little easier to deal with so she thought it ok to have a few more? It seems as if she and her husband forgot to discuss what they expect from each other as parents prior to having kids. Like her husband, I am not an advocate of daycare. I believe they are your children and you should be the one to take care of them, not some paid worker. This is one of the many things they should have talked about before hand. And it is not the oldest child’s responcibility to take care of/help with the baby, it’s not hers.

    Of course, we all require some down time and solitude, but she should have thought about that a little sooner than now.

    • theo
      Posted January 23, 2012 at 4:40 pm | Permalink

      this might be too late to comment on this but i m writing it anyway. YOU ARE SUCH A BITCH!

  2. isaywhattheywont
    Posted June 5, 2008 at 2:30 pm | Permalink

    I can think of many mitigating factors that would evoke tremendous sympathy in me for this person. Perhaps her expectations were unrealistic; 20/20 hindsight would be nice, but I’m not sure how one goes about procuring that. Maybe her husband made promises he wouldn’t or couldn’t keep. Maybe she’s afraid of going to hell if she uses birth control. Maybe they’re both young and inexperienced. Maybe she has emotional problems, or is mentally handicapped or deficient in some way, so that choices seemingly clear to us weren’t as clear to her. Maybe, maybe, maybe…

    The bottom line is that she’s suffering for it, and most likely her children suffer as well, and I take no solace in believing that I’d have made better choices under her circumstances (I’ve fucked up now and again myself, I’m forced to admit).

  3. Sunday'sMourning
    Posted June 6, 2008 at 8:20 am | Permalink

    Isaywhattheywont,

    You are completely right. Her predicament could have come about from any number of reasons. Most of them may have been out of her control, so I understand her position, but I don’t pity her.

    I absolutely adore kids, particularly babies, and it’s just unfair that they have to suffer because someone didn’t contemplate the what-ifs. Children didn’t JUST become time consuming, egotistical little tyrants; they have always been that way. Of course some are going to be easier than others, but this is something all would-be-parents know going in. Or least I thought so.

    At one point in time, I wanted to be fruitful and multiply just like everyone else. I was convinced I’d have little philosophical, free-thinking toddlers who never pissed their pants and preferred Carl Sagan to Barney. Fortunately, I saw the light before I wandered into the darkness. But I could have been just like the Mom in question, luckily I wasn’t. So, I guess the view I hold now makes it hard for me to sympathize. Everything you mentioned, minus the hell thing, plays apart in my decision to not bring forth new life. Things don’t always work they way we might want to them to and in this situation, I wouldn’t be the only one who has to suffer for MY mistakes.

    But I do understand where you are coming from.

  4. digipicsphotography
    Posted June 16, 2008 at 2:16 am | Permalink

    I understand how she feels. Mine are grown and they did attend day care. They learned a great deal in day care, learning to socialize being one of them.

    A day camp might be an alternative for this mom so that she can have some “me” time. We all need a little “me” time…from our husbands, family and work. I hope she makes the decision to grab the me time and send those kids to a day camp for a week or so. Then she can rejuvinate herself and be a better parent for it.

  5. Anonymous
    Posted August 22, 2008 at 7:42 am | Permalink

    This mom needs some medication and counseling

  6. Patricia
    Posted January 19, 2009 at 7:31 pm | Permalink

    Maybe I am the only one that feels like this but this situation just screams, “Boundry Issues”. Her husband walks on her, why not the kids? Have you ever seen that show Nanny 911??? I think that is the name. Get someone to come over and back you up while you lay out the ground rules. Give them all jobs and make them help you. Ever hear of a farmer having children that were farm hands??? If you don’t want to live like this do something about it. Stop being the door mat and start being the shoe.

  7. Joan P.
    Posted January 23, 2009 at 5:22 pm | Permalink

    I love kids, but my kid can be very difficult, so I can understand her frustration. It sounds like she is home with the kids all day. I think it would help to get out, have more playdates and chat with other mothers. Take parenting classes too. I am a strong supporter of attachment parenting. The more you nurture your children, the less clingy and demanding they will be.

  8. honestmom
    Posted April 29, 2009 at 4:58 pm | Permalink

    I understand exactly how she feels! I had this romantic version of what I thought family life was going to be. I got pregnant right after my husband and I were married.He wasnt and still isn’t very into kids. He didn’t even really want them. I think its because he grew up with an alcohaulic for a father and his sister had 2 kids before she was 18 years old and the kids seemed to hold her back in life. Anyway we had our son and it was like a bomb exploding into our marriage.I lost my job and felt like such a failure.I gained weight and felt insecure about myself.Even still I wanted my son to have a sibling close in age so I got pregnant with our daughter. We fought and still fight all the time.About money,time,and most definetly about the kids. I was crushed to find out that I was pregnant again. We were already deep in debt and our marriage is not a marriage. I believe my husband is having an affair with a coworker, we bring up divorce constantly, and there is no money to our names.My husband would rather buy new video games and electronics than pay down our debt and spend time with the kids. I dont want people to pity me. I am just writing this so people wont make the same mistake as myself. I love my kids and still recommend having children, but choose a man who will also be a good father and a good spouse.

    • Melanie
      Posted November 4, 2009 at 2:42 am | Permalink

      This is EXACTLY what I know would happen if I had a child! My husband wants to have a child but I know that I would be stuck with them 24/7 with absolutely NO help from him! He would just say:”who´s the mother here? You or me??” I already get no help with household jobs NOW without kids and that´s why I know I would NOT get any help from him THEN! My mother in law keeps asking when we´re going to have a baby but she doesn´t understand that in the country where we live in husbands usually help with childcare where as in the country where she lives in MOST woman have the help of their mother in laws or their mothers and that´s why men don´t help with anything because there are usually enough women in the house. So I certainly won´t give in and have a child and be trapped!!! I don´t like kids or babies. And if he wants a child he can make one with another woman! She can ruin her figure and her nerves but I won´t!

      • Anonymous
        Posted September 9, 2010 at 5:09 am | Permalink

        good on you!

  9. Tom Smith
    Posted March 9, 2010 at 4:45 pm | Permalink

    With the exception of the deeply religious,
    who think God commands them to breed,
    why would any American in their right mind have a child?

    This is the year 2010, we have so many options, so many diversions, travel, technology, sports, etc.

    This is an advanced society,
    not a Third World hellhole.

    Who the hell wants to change diapers
    and clean up vomit?

    Are you that narcisistic that you think the world needs another copy of you?

    • Al Brideau
      Posted February 3, 2011 at 4:15 am | Permalink

      If I could lovingly suggest that you speak to a missionary or a member from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints or go to http://www.mormon.org. They can explain to you where we came from, why we are here and where we are going after this mortal probation. This is the story of our existence and we call it the plan of salvation, the plan of happiness. The meat and potatoes of life have little to do with its many diversions, travel, technology, sports, etc. These are shallow waters to swim in, not that they are not an enjoyable part of life, like you clearly indicated, they are “diversions”. I would like to speak of the specific things that they divert you from if you live for these things or place them as the greatest importance in your life. Of course, coming to the knowledge that there actually is a God is one that will require you to step out of your comfort zone. Because God is real, and because He cannot lie, when He makes a promise or a statement, then it has to be so. If you do what God asks you to do (in summary diligently seek Him,exercise faith in Jesus Christ, repent, be baptized, receive the gift of the Holy Ghost and endure to the end of your life in obedience to His commandments), then He will reveal Himself to you in a multitude of very personal and powerful ways and your faith will turn to pure knowledge. Then will your life be filled with such a joy, that you will want to have as many children as you can reasonably raise with your loving wife. You will come to realize that the institution of marriage and procreation are the greatest joys of this life without argument or exception. Of course that which is of the most value usually comes at the greatest sacrifice and cost. Heavenly Father knows how to price His goods!
      I boldly testify to you that these things are true, in the name of Jesus Christ.

      • Pascale
        Posted January 25, 2012 at 2:47 pm | Permalink

        And what if not? What if it was not the case, what if you plainly don’t want kids? What if you like kids, but don’t like taking care of kids for more that a day? What if you think that you would not be able to cope with a teenager? What if you hate kids??? What if you actually think that you would hate being a mother? What if you are infertile or single – have you ever think of that before making that narrow-minded-“I-am-better-than-you” comment??? What if you are homosexual – in your marriage definition, do you include gay marriage? What if you are atheist? Life is not “One size fits all”, fortunately. And if your God (Actually, one of the sources of worldwide problems is that everyone thinks THEIR god is SO much better than the others – Holy Inquisition, anyone?) requires you to do so, that does not mean everyone must do the same. Please don’t push up your lifestyle choice on everyone here as “The Only Way” – I firmly believe that people are intelligent enough to choose for themselves, thankyouverymuch.

      • Al Brideau
        Posted January 26, 2012 at 9:01 am | Permalink

        Hello Pascale, I apologize for arrousing your ire, or seeming to come across as holier than thou,it certainly was not my intention. One thing everyone wants, regardless of thier belief system is to be truly happy. Our Father in Heaven has given us commandments and instructions (through prophets and scriptures) on how to be truly happy in this life and to have eternal happiness in the next life after this earthly existance. These commandments are meant for everyone, and are essential for us to fulfil our earthly potential and prepare us to live again with our Father in heaven. I fully understand your position, as I was once an athiest and did not have a lot of patience for holy rollers trying to convince me that there was a God. Most times when I questioned them about this God, they couldn’t answer my questions. However, I ran into some missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints and began to hammer them with questions. They answered my questions with a clarity, power and authority. They taught me that I could know for myself that what they were teaching me was true. If I was only willing to ask God myself, but to do so on Gods terms, He would reveal himself and His truths to me. I accepted the challenge and have learned for myself that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world and that He has restored his church to the earth in these last days through a young boy by the name of Joseph Smith. Joseph was called by Heavenly Father to be the first prophet in this last dispensation of the Gospel. It is an amazing true story Pascale and I would so encourage you to speak to some missionaries and consider the message that they have for you. I know there are thousands of religions out there that teach many varied doctrines. There are reasons for this that can be easily explained by the missionaries and you can validate and confirm these things for yourself, if you would be willing to ask God to make himself known to you. Because God cannot lie, he is bound to keep his promises. He sais through His prophet James aIf any of you lack bwisdom, let him ask of God, that cgiveth to all men liberally, and dupbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

        6 But let him aask in bfaith, nothing cwavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.

        7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.

        He also promises, seek diligently and ye shall find and knock and it shall be opened to you. These are sacred promises that God has to honour if you will follow His instructions with faith.

        Here is a promise if you will read the Book of Mormon with pure intent:

        And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would aask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not btrue; and if ye shall ask with a csincere heart, with dreal intent, having efaith in Christ, he will fmanifest the gtruth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

        5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may aknow the btruth of all things.

        Take care my friend.

        Al.

      • peter
        Posted June 29, 2012 at 3:31 pm | Permalink

        AL BRIDEAU

        The book of mormon,another testament of jesus christ written by joeseph smith written and published in 1830 is not the word of God nor are you part of Christendom.

        Cursed is the prophet joeseph smith and his christ of mormonism. You sir need to reject and repent of your false religion.

      • Posted July 2, 2012 at 3:02 pm | Permalink

        Hello Peter, I am pleasantly suprised to see a response to this old post. I love speaking with people about their beliefs in God and sincerely try to understand why they believe the things they do, especially about Jesus Christ and His Gospel. You make some strong statements here, I can’t help but be curious as to whether you have ever read the Book of Mormon from cover to cover and asked your Father in Heaven if it is true?

        It has been my experience that the majority of people who make statements indicating that the Book of Mormon is not the word of God, or that Joseph Smith was not a prophet of God, have never read the book in its entirety. What particlar church would you be a member of? Please help me understand what your knowledge is about God and His church?

        Thanks,

        Al Brideau

  10. sarah
    Posted February 13, 2011 at 9:58 pm | Permalink

    Shes right.

    Life’s over once you have kids.

    She was just too stupid to realize it!

    My dog is smarter and cuter than all your babies.

  11. tired single mother
    Posted May 8, 2011 at 11:16 am | Permalink

    Well… I can say having kids were both a blessing and mistake…
    I love my kids dearly give them everything including lots of love..maybe its just the age they are at… I have two girls 3 & 4
    they are 16 months apart.. yes I know all the trash your going to talk, but I got pregnant on the birth control patch, I dont regret them being alive, Ill always have someone to love and they love me.. but oh the nights I cry because I cant cope.. their father left 6 months after my second one was born.. and Im not like alot of teen mothers, I have a mortgage, car payments and school and work…then PAC meetings, and field trips if I have time and the list goes on … and its just me…. for get a sitter omg the cost is just not fee-sable I already pay for daycare so I can get ahead.. my kids are well behaved for the most part but god life can be challenging … please tell me its just the age and they will get better,I often guilt myself thinking about where I would be and how much easier it would be with out kids… then I feel so guilty I cry my self to sleep… When I was younger I thought Im not ever having kids, I dont even like kids.. then I met my high school sweetie, and we dated for 2 yrs before we had kids I thought we were forever, heck 15 and I was living with him he was 18 we were so close honestly thought forever … then we talked and I thought I wanted the same things.. together forever… kids … being young parents so we could be young enough to have fun with our kids .. my dad was 65 when he had me.. he wasnt much fun…still isnt now I have to take care of his property and pay his bills with that, and find time to see him at the nursing home… but love didnt last and well who always takes the burden with a smile and open arms, the mother, and I did just that…. but no help… not even consistent weekends if im lucky a day every 3 weeks or so.. and a day consists of i dont have to pick them up from daycare or drop them off in the morning but Ill have to be there at the end of the day to pick them up so realistically its a night not a day of peace… the guy cant hold a job for the life of him so forget child support, and honestly for 4 years I didnt ask for a red penny cause my mom took my dad for everyone of his calling it child support.. I dont agree, but at least see your kids you claim to love so much?? right or am I wrong…. he just recently had another daughter mid april.. he hasnt even seem the baby… ugh i feel better venting…. I was so angry, my girls had a bath and I went to get clothes and they pulled a few towels into the tub and splashing all over… and Im trying really had to keep my place clean as I just finished renovating my bathroom to my dream bathroom, i try to teach them to take care of their things, but again I hope its the age… my oldest daughter is catching on a little, until she gets in her mood then nothing has value.. she’ll grab her angels by her bed and threaten to drop them on the floor and they are glass i know dumb me… but she usually takes care of them.. did I mention today is mothers day… lol ughhh I bought myself roses they are beautiful, and the girls made some cute cards I will cherish forever!!! thanks for letting me vent!!

  12. theo
    Posted January 23, 2012 at 4:48 pm | Permalink

    Thats why abortion was invented if you re too stupid to figure out contraception, keeping the damn thing and making both your lives miserable is far worse.


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