5 Reasons NOT to Have Children

1) They cost a lot of money- having them, feeding and clothing them, doctor bills, etc. And they usually get more expensive as they get older, and a lot of the time, you keep paying, sometimes for years and years after they get out of high school. Most people work, and work, and work, and have very little money left over, if any. On the other hand, childless couples can often afford to take vacations, travel, and buy the things they want without constantly worrying about squeezing every last dime.

 

2) Raising children also takes up a lot of your time. In fact, most of it; and the little time you DO have to yourself, you’re usually too worn out to take advantage of. School events, doctor appointments, and driving them back and forth to this and that place can easily take up the little free time you have, that you might otherwise set aside for yourself; to relax from work, and to have fun. This might seem selfish to a lot of people, but consider: is the reason for existence simply to work, and run errands? It seems that way sometimes, and will seem even more that way the more children you have.

 

3) There is much evidence that children add a lot of extra strain to a marriage. Think about it: when you first get married, the focus is on each other. But children require LOTS of attention, and hard work. Often, before you know it, you’re calling each other ‘Mommy’ and ‘Daddy’, instead of ‘Sweetheart’, because you’ve stopped identifying yourselves, and each other, as individuals who need love and attention. Suddenly, you are ‘parents’, and everything becomes about the ‘job’ of raising the kids; and make no mistake, it is a long and sometimes grueling job. Some years go by, and before you know it, you’ve forgotten why you got together with your significant other in the first place. The love is gone, or pushed far into the background, and all that’s left is the ‘duty to the family’. This doesn’t mean there aren’t rewards in raising a family; but on the whole, it can be a very bad tradeoff. Of course, not many will admit this openly (or even to themselves). We are trained by our society to not be honest about our feelings in this area, as in other areas, such as religious faith. That’s because people don’t want to admit that they’ve made a huge, life consuming mistake (again, not even to themselves). Ever hear the expression, ‘misery loves company’?

 

4) Children often don’t wind up the way we want them to. Even with the best intentions, our influence is only part of what makes a child choose a particular lifestyle. Furthermore, most of us are still almost kids ourselves when we have them, and raising them is generally a series of mistakes. That’s why there is so much regret, and so many angry feelings between parents and their adult children. And of course, your children will go to to make the same sorts of mistakes with their kids, if they choose to have them. And so on, and so on…this is the way it’s always been, and there is no miracle on the horizon. So, even after they’re out of the house, parenthood can remain a negative experience in the realm of hurt feelings, regrets, hostility, and the like.

 

5) Finally, and after everything else has been considered, your children will suffer, and die. Many of them will tie themselves to the wheel of a job they don’t like, purely out of necessity. They will suffer the bulk of their lives living from paycheck to paycheck, trying to fit a little enjoyment in where they can. Eventually learning to numb themselves with food, television, drugs, alcohol, etc., they’ll lose all memory and feeling for the hopes they had when they were young. Life will become a routine to be endured, as the flavors and experiences become dulled with repetition over time. They will experience great losses, both material and emotional. As they get older, they’ll watch the people they love fall away; their parents, their lovers and friends. At some point, most of them will experience some serious illness, or injury, as even their bodies betray them in the end. And at some point, they’ll begin thinking seriously about their own deaths; they’ll hear the fearful footsteps behind them in the foggy distance, and they will indeed be afraid. They might try to run. They might try to simply ignore the whole issue. But, eventually, death will catch up to them, and take them…sometimes in their sleep, if they’re lucky. But most of the time, by heart disease, or cancer, or emphysema, or stroke, or any other number of troublesome to horrible maladies. And then…back to where they came from…non-existence.

 

Of course, the bad things I’ve described above won’t happen to everyone equally. For some, it’ll be a lot worse, and for others, somewhat better. Oh, there will be those rare few who live almost perfect lives; almost free from care, almost ignorant of real loss. But for each of those few, there will be many, many others whose lives are veritable hells on earth, whose every breath will be bought at a terrible price. And consider this: your child just MIGHT be one of those very unlucky ones. Who can tell? Who can predict the future with utter accuracy? Is it worth the risk, ESPECIALLY when every single one of them is headed for the graveyard, anyway? Why take even the smallest chance that your child could be one of those for whom life is a horrible curse?

 

I leave you with a quote from the film The Princess Bride…”Life is pain! Anyone who says different is trying to sell you something.”

 

Please, think carefully before having children.

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5 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    Posted March 5, 2008 at 10:34 am | Permalink

    “They cost a lot of money- having them, feeding and clothing them, doctor bills, etc.”

    This point is often overlooked, but it’s quite important. If your reason for spending money on your kids (education, health, food, etc.) is that you want to “provide opportunity and nurturing conditions for children,” then you’re furthering that goal in a very inefficient way. It would be far more cost-effective to improve the living conditions and opportunities of children in the Third world (e.g., by donating to organizations that provide health services, literacy, sanitation, etc.). The difference in cost to achieve the same benefit is probably at least an order of magnitude.

    “On the other hand, childless couples can often afford to take vacations, travel, and buy the things they want without constantly worrying about squeezing every last dime.”

    Ideally, this saved income would be donated to charity. For people who share your views on not having children, an ideal charity would seem to be one that cost-effectively promotes family planning in the Third world (e.g., Population Services International). But I agree that if your goal is to convince people on selfish grounds not to have children, the possibility of extra vacation, travel, and purchases are good points to bring up.

  2. Posted March 9, 2008 at 10:40 am | Permalink

    This post has generated some discussion at:

    http://stumbleinn.net/forum/showthread.php?t=4824

  3. isaywhattheywont
    Posted March 14, 2008 at 8:02 pm | Permalink

    Thanks for both your comments…sorry for the tardy response. They weren’t coming through my mail; I must have had the settings wrong. Better luck next time!

  4. joe
    Posted March 14, 2009 at 2:24 pm | Permalink

    Having kids is a horrible idea if you’re not thoroughly prepared for it. Your life as you know it stops immediately and you must take on this new life whether you like it or not. Sometimes birth control methods fail, men aren’t careful, women aren’t careful, some women have even poked holes in condoms or purposely missed birth control doses. Some people treat life as a game, having children to make themselves feel better, or to fill some kind of void. In the process they create an environment which breeds depression, guilt, anger and resentment. People should be sterilized at birth, when they are adults, they should have to go through a series of tests to decide whether or not they are prepared to bring a human life into the world. I mean mentally, physically, and financially prepared. We have to go through application processes and/or back ground checks to get apartments, jobs, buy houses, get a drivers license, a gun permit, buy a car, take out a loan, get into college, get a cell phone… the list goes on. But ANYONE can have a child. Most often, they shouldn’t.

  5. Lu Patterson-Sisco
    Posted October 15, 2012 at 12:46 pm | Permalink

    I agree that people should think twice before having children, particularly single mothers. Those people who constantly talk about how great it is to have kids are usually only trying to convince themselves they are truly happy being parents or as stated above, misery loves company!


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