Greetings From Another Blogging Universe

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve posted here. A LONG while! My original intent in creating this blog was as an adjunct space to my main antinatalism blog over at (or, if you prefer). I also thought I might shift the emphasis a bit over here, trying to focus a bit more on the self-interested side of the subject. That was some time ago, but since then I’ve created lots of blogs over at blogspot and have gotten very comfortable with their format. Unfortunately, I’ve neglected this one in the process, for which I apologize.

However, part of my vision for this blog has been and is still being realized. I’m speaking of the comments section, of course, and of you folks who have poured your hearts out here regarding a subject that’s usually considered taboo. I am happy to have provided a space here for people to talk about things they probably can’t share anywhere else, and I will continue to do so. I read every comment as it comes in my mail, and have been quite moved by the heartfelt honesty concerning a very difficult subject to talk about. I appreciate it, and hope that in the sharing and interchanges you’ve come to realize that you are not alone. And even though I’m not actively writing here, I still consider this a vital blog where you, the commenters, are the authors.

I’d also like to extend an invitation to anyone who reads this blog to join the conversation over at

Take care, one and all, and until I see you over there or over here, remember…Don’t Have Kids!


Happily Childfree

Good link!

Beats the Hell out of Having to Write this Stuff Myself!

I’m Back!

Just a little note to let everyone know I’ve returned to bloggerland, though I’m still busy with ‘the project’. Stay tuned!

Oh, and if anybody needs a fix of my special brand of bloggertainment, here’s my profile over at blogspot. Enjoy!





See you in 2009, Fate willing!


Found a nice piece here…

Good parenting


It’s a little weird to give birth to children with the intention of keeping things from them. Lollipops, scissors, privacy, freedom, an uncensored Internet connection. I’m not interested in whether these are good or bad for kids. What matters is that they are deprived of these things.

Giving birth to kids wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the world they are inevitably cast into. It’s quicksand. Once born, you are constantly pulled downward by a yearning hunger. It’s like being saddled with a terminal disease that cannot be cured, only slowed, and the medicine is dangling in front of you from a stick held by your parents. Like an addiction to food, and because you are born with nothing but a body, your only option is to sell that body to get food. You live from fix to fix.

Your parents, having cast you into this exitless maze that is designed to be dwelled until death, can give you directions on how to make it bearable, but that’s all, as they themselves haven’t figured out the unfigureoutable either. But they figured they could have a kid so they could stand on its shoulders and see what’s really going on. They didn’t like what they saw (the maze is endless, like the surface of a planet) and decided not to tell you.

They never took risks, they only gave them away. Like betting someone else’s money at the casino. Your future.

But hey, life isn’t so bad. They pay for your food and shelter, which makes them heroes for saving your life. Except that they wouldn’t have had to do it if they hadn’t had you in the first place. And then it turns out that they didn’t really want you, and that from now on you’ll have to pay to store and charge your body with them, or wash their car or whatever. And this is justified because it’s normal, and natural. Did you know that army ants keep slaves?

And what about school? Did you like school? Did you like the singing and hand-clapping? The storytelling on Monday morning? The gym classes? Did you like sitting in dusty classrooms in hard chairs listening to a burned-out disinterested teacher? For hours on end? With a disinterested white clock (with a thin red second hand) that you couldn’t help but look at every five minutes? Or did you look at the construction work outside? Or the window washers? Or did you secretly pass notes?

How about work? Froooooom paaaaaaycheeeeeck tooooo paaaaaaycheeeeeck, in a cramped office with pragmatic coworkers, and another disinterested white clock that creeps eeeeeveeeer so slowly and whose ticking gets ever louder and louder and LOUDER to see how miserable it can make you reminding you of how much time you are pissing away for a handful of depreciating bucks per hour. And you’ll come into work tired and you’ll come into work drugged. And you’ll think about the secretary whom you very rarely see, and you’ll think about the law. You’ll think about torching the office and leaving it all behind. Who would catch you if you just kept going?

Sure, you can come to terms with it. Shrug it off. That’s life. It’s inevitable. No pain, no gain. But WHAT IS GAIN? WHEN IS GAIN GAIN? Surely, gain is meaningless to dead people! So who needs it? Living people? How come they’re alive? Because they decided to pop up! RAISING THE DEAD IS DONE SOLELY IN THE INTEREST OF THE LIVING.

Again. When you’re alive, you’re constantly fighting off hunger, thirst, pain, boredom. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE BOREDOM! IT’S AS REAL AS HUNGER! All you strive for, then, is relief of hunger, relief of thirst, relief of pain, relief of boredom, relief of WHATEVER. And the means that bring this relief about are labeled GOOD. FOOD is GOOD, WATER is GOOD, PROTECTION is GOOD, AMUSEMENT is GOOD, as opposed to HUNGER is BAD, THIRST is BAD, PAIN is BAD, BOREDOM is BAD.

And don’t even get me started on friction.

Real Concerns for Christians Concerning Children

I came along this blog discussing David Benatar’s book, ‘Better Never to Have Been…

I’d like to highlight two comments…


“If one is born but not saved, then yes, it’s better not to have been born. I will have no children, as I cannot live with the idea that my child might suffer infinite pain for all eternity in God’s eternal torture chamber (and no word-twisting about how God doesn’t run Hell….it’s there because he lets it exist).

And if Calvinism is right, then it is doubly cruel and selfish to have children….chances are your progeny will have been created for the express purpose of feeling God’s wrath…you will probably birth, nurture, and raise a child whose sole and only purpose is to suffer indescribable torment for ever and ever and ever.”

Posted by: Dan | Mar 14, 2007 9:13:31 AM



“Not an athiest, and not a troll, and I’m not “attacking this site” (is that what you think when people post things you disagree with?)…I’m just reacting to the question, which has bothered me all my life.

Is it better not to exist, or to exist in Hell? (And I don’t think anyone willfully chooses an eternity of agony….we do actions that will lead there based on our own shortsightedness and inability to do anything else)

If we are born broken and sinful, and will go to Hell unless saved, then why is it such a stretch to decide not to bring additional broken, sinful, Hell-bound people into the world? We can try to show our children the way, but we cannot force them to be saved. I’m saying that I personally cannot face the idea of raising and loving children only to see them in Hell. Which, it cannot be denied, is a very real possibility. (And while I’m undecided about Calvinism, that view seems to reinforce my feeling)

I think the ultimate selfishness would be to have kids for my own joy and benefit knowing that their fate might be worse than not having been born at all.”

Posted by: Dan | Mar 14, 2007 8:09:43 PM


Seems pretty logical to me. And anybody who says never existing is worse than spending an eternity being tortured in hell, just isn’t thinking very hard. But that’s exactly the argument some folks make. Check out the blog, read the thread, and tell me what you think!

A Heartfelt Rant From An Anonymous Mother (Phew!)

I think I regret having my children I have no escape I am a prisoner in my own home I have no way fing solitude I am trapped. I secretly wish that someone would deam me unfit as a parent and take them I hate myself for this. I would never hurt them but I can’t even talk on the phone or use the restroom in peace there is no privacy my husband thinks that there is no reason to be away from the children I feel like am losing myself to there incessant whining and crying God please just kill me I am miserable I tell my husband and he blows me off I am not allowed to put them in daycare I can’t even clean my house without them huddling around me to complain that the other one is doing something wrong or the oldest bringing me the baby to hold when i am trying to get her to understand that she does not have to be stuck up my arse all the time am I insane for wishing my kids would dissappear for a day? I don’t get any respect in my own home the children run the house. I am here to serve them and clean up their huge messes. God, Please make it stop I see no light at the end of the tunnel.

Having Kids Can Be A Big Mistake

No Kids Site
Kim Kenney
BellaOnline’s Married No Kids Editor


Some Parents Regret Having Kids

Isn’t it interesting how often we hear that we’ll regret not having kids someday, and yet no one ever tells an expecting mom that she might regret her decision? Regretting parenthood is taboo in our society, and few people are willing to admit that they wish they didn’t have kids.

I am always dumbfounded when people continue to pressure people who don’t want children into having them. Why would they encourage someone who doesn’t want kids to bring a child into this world?

Dr. Phil recently did a show on women who “can’t stand being a mom.” Some of these women even let their children know that they regret having children. They were afraid of becoming abusive parents, they resented the time parenthood required, and they blamed their kids for their unhappiness. What a horrible environment to grow up in!

Of course, no child should be made to feel like they weren’t wanted. But immediately, I question why these women had children in the first place.

Could it be because society bombards us with the message that WOMEN MUST HAVE CHILDREN? And that there is something wrong with us if we don’t want to become a mother?

What if these women had realized, in advance, that they didn’t have to become a mother to have a meaningful life? What if they had found a support network like Married No Kids? Would they have had kids anyway if they realized they had a CHOICE?

Of course, there are those who truly did want children, and the reality of parenthood just wasn’t what they expected. I don’t know what to say about that. I know the reality I see in my friends’ households now, and I don’t want that to be MY reality – EVER!

If you’re on the fence about whether or not to have kids, then you absolutely shouldn’t have them. At least not right now.

You can always change your mind down the road if you decide you do want kids. But it’s a lot more difficult to admit after the fact that you don’t really want the kids you have. It isn’t fair to them, and you can’t change your mind once you’ve chosen that path.

One From the Grandfather of Antinatalism

If children were brought into the world by an act of pure reason alone, would the human race continue to exist? Would not a man rather have so much sympathy with the coming generation as to spare it the burden of existence? or at any rate not take it upon himself to impose that burden upon it in cold blood.

                                                                                                                               Arthur Schopenhauer